Thursday, 24 February 2011

Kitty loosing her femme fatale side...

Being a knitters kitty is not a easy job. You think you will be able to play in wool stash all day long, but some other responsibilities come along and you have to deal with then, sigh.

There’s the “What do you think about this (sweater/tunic/mitten/hat)” which me has to reply carefully because if I give the wrong answer, my hooman will be sulky, and sulky hooman is no fun to be around.
So I has to sugar coat my answer “Yes, of course you look fab and slim in it da-hling”

even if I really think:

                              “Seriously? You’re going to wear that? OUTSIDE? I’m glad we don’t go out together”

Other times, my dear hooman brings her big project so me settles comfortably on her lap (or the hank of yarn, depending on preference)

and then the counting begins...
“8, 9, 10... in 3in!!! Oh no the gauge is wrong again”
Half an hour later
...8, 9 10... in 5 in!!! No freakin way!!

 Then I think gosh, again, sigh and hide me-precious-self because I know that hooman upset with gauge (who the hell is this gauge anyway?! She must be one naughty lady) is most likely to blame the poor kitty (like “it’s all your fault, if you didn’t interrupt me I would be right on the spot!”)

There is also high probability of needles or balls of yarn flying around so it’s better to duck.

Oh no, not the gauge again! *ducks*

Sometimes the hooman will bring new yarn into my castle but decides to put it somewhere she thinks you will be too lazy to try to get too.

But what she doesn’t know is that you will go to ANY level to check out your new toys.

Even if it takes climbing the mountain range that is way ouf of my comfort zone (it’s dangerous, ya’know)

 On the good day the hooman will finally leave me toys for kitty to play with and then I roll, I toss, I tangle right, left and centre and  have the time of me life!

For some mysterious reason, the hooman then returns with this red face and mumbles something about these not being my toys, but, hello, didn’t I just announce there WERE mine?

Time to run methinks!

Yarn may seem to be a nice ball of fluff, just like me, but it can show it’s dark side too. It’s the same way like we kitties have hidden tigers inside us, ya’know.

If you get too comfortable with a ball of yarn, it can swamp you, like a...mmm... like a black hole!!

Remember, if you ever fall asleep in close proximity to the ball of yarn, you might be in serious danger.

But generally, we have the same properties, we’re both pretty, soft and nice to touch so we get along just fine.
It can even be a good replacement for a companion if your hooman is in the bad mood and doesn’t want to hug me. Or tells me to go away because she doesn’t get up at 6 am to satisfy my needeness and attention-seekiness. Moi, attention seeking? Never.
Anyway, sometimes I just prefer the ball to that selfish hooman of mine.

Unless of course, my silly hooman thinks it would be absolutely hilarious to make you wear this one shapeless fingerless mitten that she made some time last autumn and it looks like... something terribly ugly.

And it’s in hot pink, which OBVIOUSLY doesn’t go with my orange/tan patches of fur, right?? Someone call the fashion police!

One of the most boring aspects of being a knitty-kitty is helping my hooman to look for a new pattern for this brand new wool I just tangled for her. There is this website, Ravadavadoom and my hooman spends ages there.
Normally I don’t mind as this mean she sits still and I can cuddle next to her, but sometimes enough is enough and I have to take drastic measures to separate my hooman from this electronic device and as a brave kitty I am, I put myself between them.

Hooman then says “Stupid cat, get off my keyboard” which I reckon means that mission is accomplished and she appreciates my devotion.

Don’t get me wrong, I love assisting my hooman with knitting, but all this ball rolling, stitch pulling, yarn tangling and playing with stitch markers is very time consuming and sometimes I feel that my day is all work and no fun at all! I sit and watch my hooman and then I feel me eyelids getting heavier and heavier and I drift away into the world of dreams where all yarn is made of kid mohair and stitch markers sparkle.... zzzz

Note from hooman: This post is dedicated to my lovely kitty Amber who is going to have surgery tomorrow and will have her femmale fatale side removed. I'm really worried about her so please keep your fingers crossed she wakes up from anesthesia ok and spings back to being her lovely yarn-loving self!
Thank you x

1 comment

  1. LOVE this post! Ha ha! It was a pleasure to read. Hooman... Awesome! So many cute things in here.

    Amber will be in my thoughts and I wish her the best of luck with her surgery! Let us know how it goes!


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